Lent

During the season of Lent we are invited to focus on the cross, and that means spend some time thinking about the sacrifice. Which is hard. We don’t do sacrifice. We all know this is true. We don’t do pain, we take a pill. We don’t do hardship, we pull out the credit card. We have been taught, by the powers of consumerism and medical science, that sacrifice is unnecessary. And we would like that to be so. We would prefer if, somehow, everything could just work out well for everyone, no harm done. Nobody suffer, nobody go hungry, no innocent people become casualties of war. No sacrifice, please. But that’s not the world we live in. We live in this world where good and evil co-exist. And sometimes we experience pain for the sake of something good. While God did not promise to take away all our hardship and suffering, God did promise to be with us through it all, no matter how hard. In this world, sometime you suffer for the sake of something good. It seems to me that the people o...

One Christmas maybe 20 years ago, Kim and I decided that instead of buying lots of presents for each other and the kids, we would take a family winter vacation. On New Year’s Day we flew down to the Florida Keys for a week. We swam and snorkeled, visited the Everglades and Miami, and had a really great time. We still talk about it. Toys or clothes would have been long forgotten, but that January vacation is still with us in certain ways. Because experiences give you special moments together, doing special things. And what is more valuable than enjoyable times spent with the people you love? It really makes me wonder why we don’t give more experiences than we do.

Celebrate your beauty!

When I was a kid I hated when it was time to pick teams. You know what I’m talking about? It’s a nice spring day, the gym teacher takes the class outside, says we’re going to play softball today. You and you – pick your teams.  Believe me when I tell you I was always among the last chosen – I was not much of an athlete. I remember distinctly standing there waiting until another girl and I were the only ones left. Super great for your developing self-image, right?  I wonder now, what in heaven’s name was the matter with these gym teachers? The humiliation they inflicted! If you were never chosen last, then maybe you don’t know. But it was cruel.  Being chosen is all wrapped up in love. Everyone wants to be chosen.  There are so many stories in the Bible about particular individuals who are chosen by God – some who didn’t even want to be chosen. Some who were not the ones anybody expected to chosen. For example, choosing little David to be the king of Israel would be l...

The young ruler approaching Jesus for advice called out, “Good Teacher!” And Jesus replied, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” I have never known why Jesus said that. I assume it is because the young man caught him at a bad moment when his patience was running thin. It seems unnecessary and nonsensical. Besides, if Jesus is God incarnate, why is he not good? Didn’t the young ruler have it right?  Could it really be true that ONLY God is good? The first creation story in Genesis describes how God created the world, step by step. Day by day, and at the end of every day God deemed it good. So, there it is: the word of God. I still don’t know what Jesus meant, but this plant is good. Because it is part of God’s good creation. And it is just doing what God made it to do.

When the going gets tough, Jesus’ disciples have trouble staying awake. When Peter, James, and John are confronted with his glory as he is transfigured before their eyes, they become weighed down with sleep. On the night he was arrested, when Jesus implores his disciples to come and pray with him, but when he looks up they are asleep. Asleep because of grief, as Luke says. Sleep is an escape from the world. Newborn babies know this. Honestly, there are times I cannot wait for the end of the day so I can escape into sleep. And, if even a good night sleep is not enough to take care of the grief, we might find ourselves effectively sleepwalking through our days. As though we are shrouded in a blanket buffering us from the world. We see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing. You don’t have to be asleep to be, well, asleep. Jesus warns us again and again: Stay awake! Because he sees this problem we have in the face of challenges. Our eyes get glassy, we retreat. We avoid. And it won’t be solv...

Glory. I have struggled with this word for a few days now. I am troubled by glory. The glory of the world might be studded in diamonds and plated with gold, draped in velvet and silk. But the glory of God is hidden from us. It is a glory that we cannot comprehend, cannot even bear the sight of. In the Exodus story we read that Moses carried the glory of God in his face when he returned from the mountain, and the people could not bear the sight of him. As Christians, we see glory in the cross, because we understand it as the way of salvation. We know Christ said to his disciples that each one must take up her own cross. If we are to follow in his way, we follow him through death and beyond – all the way to glory. And so our Christian tradition has seen glory in suffering. Not suffering for its own sake but suffering that becomes necessary on the way to something else. Glory. But this, too, troubles me, it all too easily becomes a glorification of suffering, a glorification of violence. ...

  I guess you could say I am dazzled by these kids. Dazzled by how they change – one day I look at their faces and wonder if this could be the same child I looked at yesterday. I am dazzled by the new things they learn every day. The toddler who is just beginning to grasp the use of language sagely nodding his head in response to a question. A three-year-old, who has quite mastered the use of language, and gives us glimpses into the way a young mind works. When she gives voice to her musings, a whole new way of seeing the world is opened to us. I am dazzled by the joy they express with their bodies. Each has their own unique and fabulous dance style. One gets down low and grooves with the beat; the other excels at a dramatic form of interpretive dance. I am dazzled by the shrieks and belly laughs, and by the way they suddenly become so still and contained, “reading” a book. I am dazzled by the love that greets me every time I walk through the door, as if I were the prodig...

Recently someone told me that yoga is like church to them. I said, yes, I understand that. It’s prayer. Usually when someone says, “Let us pray,” we all bow our heads and fold our hands together. But that is actually only one of many possible ways to use your body in prayer. When I was in seminary we learned the Orans prayer position – arms away from the body and lifted, hands open, face turned upward, as if to receive the world around us. We students laughed because we were uncomfortable with it. It is the opposite of our usual prayer position. It’s like the difference between fish pose and child pose. And both have a place. Both are important. But still, there are so many other ways to use your body in prayer, including a prayer walk. Just take a walk and try to stay open to whatever God might show you along the way – what you see, hear, smell, feel. And then, your response is your prayer.

  Celebrate. Celebrate birthdays – the big ones with a zero in them and all the ones in between. Celebrate marriage – multi-day extravaganzas or photos and balloons on the courthouse steps. Celebrate safe passage of loved ones from a place of danger to a place of safety. Celebrate being together in one place with friends – just because you can – after a long time apart. Celebrate losing five pounds of extra baby weight. Celebrate being able to walk down the hall after that surgery. Celebrate graduations, anniversaries, potty training, winning the big game, and losing that first tooth. Celebrate getting on the zoom meeting all by yourself. Celebrate waking up in the morning to greet the sun. Celebrate life, for it is all a gift from God.

This evening Lena asked if we could take a night walk. Well, it was a warm evening and we weren’t busy with anything, so we thought, Why not? We put on our shoes and coats, wrapped the baby in the stroller with blankets, and corralled the dogs. Lena grabbed her flashlight and led the way. You are my lamp, O Lord. My God lightens my darkness (2 Samuel 22:29.) These words are from a song David sang on the day God delivered him from the hands of his enemies, from the hands of Saul. It was a long, dark period in David’s life. The darkness David is speaking of is a kind of darkness that can feel like it lives inside you. No amount of electricity will dispel it; there is not a flashlight big enough. You need a different kind of light. I was on the phone this evening with a friend who struggles with depression. Lots of days that dark heaviness keeps my friend from getting out of bed. I couldn’t offer much – just an ear to hear and a voice to say, “I’m here.”  I said to my friend, “Spring ...

I like to be alone. I can spend a lot of time alone and it’s really not a hardship. People tend to think of introverts as socially defective or lonely people, but it just isn’t true. We are simply people who need to have alone-time to recharge our batteries. We enjoy the company of others, but we also enjoy the company of ourselves. An extraverted friend once shared with me her concern and wonder that God seemed to be calling so many introverts to ministry. I told her it is because the introverts actually had the time to listen. Sitting in our prayer closets. Alone. I was joking. Sort of – yet even while I said that, I knew that it was not when I was alone that I heard the call of God. It was in conversations with other people. God speaks to us through one another. God leads us to new places and discoveries and growth through our relationships with one another. Still, introverts like me are going to need some time alone to process all of it.

Jesus went into the wilderness for forty days of prayer and fasting. There he was tempted by the devil. Three temptations were presented. To me, it seems like the first one would have been the hardest. You haven’t eaten anything for forty days, you’re beyond hungry. You are literally starving. The devil says, “Here, take this bread.” And still Jesus says, “No thank you.”  I guess if he could pass up that temptation he could do just about anything. The next two items the devil dangled before him were heady things – power and glory, indomitability. But I don’t even know how anyone could get their head around such ideas when they had not eaten for forty days.  That first one, though…I don’t know if I could have resisted the temptation to eat. If I were starving. But it was necessary for Jesus to resist, because the devil did not have his best interests at heart. The devil did not want Jesus to succeed, did not want the world to be saved, so he tried to lure Jesus toward failure. ...

  Kim and I went to IHOP for breakfast this morning, a rare treat. I filled myself with pancakes, eggs, and coffee. Lots of coffee. Then I came home and received the Lent word of the day: Full.  Yes, indeed. I was. This is really something to think about as we begin a season that is marked by the practice of fasting, giving up something that is of value. It’s not really about suffering or sacrifice (although I guess that depends on how you define sacrifice), but the point of fasting is to make some room for God. To empty ourselves of other things so we can begin to be filled up with the divine, the holy light of God. So I am thinking today: what am I full of? What is the clutter inside of me?  I am full of anxiety about things I have no power to change. I am full of longings, itches for newness, distraction, diversion. I am full of ideas for stuff I want to do and hope for dreams to come true.  I am full of concern and fear for myself, my loved ones, and the people o...