April 11 – Blessed

When I offer my morning prayers I always catch myself on the prayers of thanksgiving. My daily prayer app gives me prompts for thankfulness: for the love of the church, the care of friends and family, those who work for healing and the well-being of others, opportunities for generous giving, and so on. These are all beautiful things, for which I am grateful. But then I have the opportunity to offer my own petitions of thanksgiving, and I begin thinking of all that I have. I have so much comfort in my life, so much beauty, so much stimulation, challenge, opportunity. And I feel guilty for it.

It feels inappropriate, even, to be thankful for the things I have, I think, because it shouldn’t be important. This is where it gets weird.

I am undeserving of the abundance I have. I am undeserving of the blessings I have. But, of course, blessing is not earned. It is gift, it is grace.

And how does one receive grace?

I am reminded of the three-week trip to Cuba back in seminary. We had prepared ourselves for the hardships of our journey: being in a strange place, having few possessions with us, the unknowns of what kinds of food we would be served, what kinds of acommodations we would be given. We were ready.

But then we were thrown off-balance by what we received. In Cuba we were taken to dine in beautiful restaurants and served heaping plates of delicious food. We stayed in hotels that were not plush, but they were neat and clean and beautiful.

Some of us responded with great relief. Thank God our worst fears were not realized! Others responded with anger. 

This is inappropriate. This is an injustice to the Cubans who are living in poverty. This is undeserved and unappreciated.

This clash of feelings was confusing. Personally, I was grateful that things were being made a little easier for us than we had expected. But on the other hand, was it wrong for me to gladly accept the abundance that was offered? I was conflicted.

One of my fellow travelers, who happened to be studying for the ordination exams at the time, shared with me something he was reading from the Heidelberg Catechism, out of our Book of Confessions. 

On God’s creation and providence: knowing that all things are in God’s hands, we are taught to be patient in times of adversity, grateful in the midst of plenty, and trusting in our faithful God for the future.

Things clicked for me then. We don’t need to go looking for adversity – it will come, and with God’s help we will deal with it. But when God showers you with blessing, say thank you.

How does one receive grace? Gracefully, I hope.

Photo: A quinceañera we passed by on the Plaza de San Francisco in Havana.