April 3 – Welcome

This is sort of a love letter to my mother, because when I think of welcome I think of her. She was so good at it. When someone came to visit her, she seemed so relaxed and happy in their presence. You could catch her with a dirty house, you could catch her in the middle of some task, you could even catch her having forgotten that she invited you over – it would be okay. She didn’t worry about all that stuff. She was focused on her guests. 

She always wanted to make her guests feel comfortable, and she did this by paying attention to them. She noticed what they liked, what put them at ease. When Kim and I were first married, we visited my parents. It took mom about a day to figure out what Kim enjoyed. She started putting magazines and newspapers out on end tables next to comfy chairs. She put bowls of peanut M&Ms on the tables, too. When the M&Ms ran out, she refilled them. They never stayed empty.

She did all this so subtly that Kim didn’t even notice for a while. Eventually, we both noticed, and laughed about it. How good, how clever she was! How much she cared about making him feel welcome and comfortable. She was like this with everyone.

For her, it was nothing – she would never make a big deal or fuss about it. She would never try to draw attention to it (“You see what I did for you!). It was nothing, but it was everything.

There was a crew of young Filipino nurses she took under her wing at the hospital because they were so far away from home, and so young. They would come over to our house, and we all got to learn about their culture as we got to know them. 

There was a young woman she took into our home after she suffered the devastating loss of her fiancé. Marie lived with us for months, like a big sister.

There was a next-door neighbor with two little boys who was welcome to stop by anytime. Mom cooed over her children and praised her mothering skills. This woman cried harder than anyone at mom’s funeral. 

My mother was so beloved, and it was, in part, because she always made you feel welcome. I have made her my role model in this way, although I will never do it as well as she did. It was truly her superpower – her supernatural gift.

Photo: Mom and Pop on my wedding day.