Letting It Go

I listened to Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Friar, in a podcast called Another Name for Everything, speaking about finding presence in pandemic. He said that very little has been written about the great flu pandemic of 1918. The reason, he supposed, is because people were ashamed of their behavior. People abandoned family, acted in selfishness and fear. After it was over, they were too ashamed to speak of it. They only wanted to forget it.

Fear does not bring out the best in us. 

When I heard his words, I thought of a passage from Geraldine Brooks’ beautiful novel, Year of Wonders. It is based on the true story of a village that self-quarantined when the plague hit them. They suffered greatly, losing about two thirds of their numbers from the sickness. The priest went from house to house tending to the dying. At one house he sat beside a deeply troubled man, clinging to his misery, terrified of surrendering his life. He told the priest that his wife, who had died some years ago, had suffered very cruel treatment at his hands. He had worked her too hard and offered her no tenderness. When death came for her, it was a mercy, but he had carried his guilt and shame ever since. Now he feared his death. The priest assured him that God had forgiven him, urging him to let go of it.

Confronting our sins is never an easy or comfortable thing to do, even in lent. Most of us find ways to avoid them: rationalizing our actions. blaming others. distracting ourselves with busyness. However, when we are alone with ourselves all these tricks can fail us.

On a news program I heard once about a prison that was offering inmates the opportunity to learn and practice meditation. They even offered them a chance to do a silent retreat. One of the things they learned was that these inmates who undertook a silent retreat came out of it better able to confront their guilt. Even some who had steadfastly maintained their innocence of the crimes they were committed for, found that when there was nobody else to talk to, they could no longer lie.

What are you ashamed of? Is there something that has been lurking in a corner of your consciousness? Here’s the important thing: If you let it out you’ll find it has no power over you. Make amends if you can. Repent – that is, turn in a new direction. And let it go. Because, as the priest said, God has forgiven you. Let it go.